Dianne Elizabeth Schurman
December 11, 1943 – February 17, 2022

On February 17, 2022 Dianne Elizabeth (Auldridge) Schurman passed away due to complications arising from her bout with Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma. Affectionately known as Dee, she leaves behind her daughter Sheryl Schurman, her son Brian Schurman, his wife Megan, and her grandchildren, Patrick, M.E., and William.

She was born to Woodford “Pete” and Elizabeth “Libby” Auldridge of Clarksville, MD on December 11, 1943. She attended Glenelg High School for her freshman and sophomore years, and went on to graduate from Howard High in the class of 1961. After high school she went to beauty school and became a hair stylist, a career she held for over 30 years full time. Always creative, she began working at Safeway in the floral department for almost 20 years, and continued cutting hair for a few select friends until 2020.

She married and moved to Laurel, MD in the early 1960’s and had 4 children in 7 years, Keith, Kevin, Brian, and Sheryl. Keith and Kevin preceded her in death.

She loved to garden! She would spend countless hours tending to her beautiful flora. She loved country music… forcing her children, or anyone driving with her for that matter, to listen on long drives. She enjoyed taking the long road much of the time. She also loved to spend time with her aunts and cousins canning food or making Christmas candy.

She loved her family very much, both close and extended. Her house was always a welcome landing spot for many wayward souls. But the absolute loves of her life were her grandchildren. Time spent with them was the joy of her life!

After a lifetime of gracious giving, one of her final acts on this earth was the selfless decision to donate her body to science, a final gesture to help mankind in any way she could.

God rest her soul!

Funeral Arrangements for Dee Schurman
Saturday, February 26, 2022
10:30am

St. Paul’s Lutheran Church
11795 Scaggville Rd
Fulton, MD 20759

It is hard to believe it has been a full year since our 2 week quarantine to flatten the curve started. We count that day as March 14, 2020, the day after the last day of school. They sent home some packets for the kids and we made the best of it. We tried to enjoy our early and extended spring break, but not being able to go anywhere, and the Contagion-like movie scenarios running through our heads as we navigated the aisles of the grocery store started to wear on us. The streets of our town were ghostly. No one in sight, no cars traveling on the busy highway behind us. It was a very quiet and eerie couple of weeks.

Of course we all know what happened. We didn’t go back to school. Many didn’t go back to work. By mid April everyone was navigating the world of online learning and newly imagined job scenarios, and the quiet magic of the 2 week quarantine evaporated into the morning dew of a very long and unfortunately cold spring. We watched lots of Netflix and shared many memes about the great toilet paper hoarding/shortage of 2020.

At least we had cake.

When we realized we weren’t going back to school or work, or ANYWHERE anytime soon. We have 3 kids, who were 7, 5, and 3 when this whole thing started. With even the playgrounds roped off, it was time to get creative. Luckily I had purchased a state park pass in February, something I’d never done before. Turned out that was a very good thing for us. At least we had somewhere to go, once it finally did warm up.

Life as we know it was a very hard thing to explain to them. Why they couldn’t go to school, see friends or go anywhere indoors without scaring them to death took some doing. I’d often just gloss over it, to save their poor little psyches from being scarred. “It’s not forever. It’s an illness they are trying to get a hold of so it’s safe for everyone to see everyone again. Let’s go for a walk!” This was met with heavy sighs. “Because Coronavirus.” became an answer to why they can’t do anything. “We hate Coronavirus.” “Me too… me too.” We tried to keep it as “normal” as possible.

Things were far from “normal” however. The numbers still rising, panic in the toilet paper aisle, fears of where the next paycheck was coming from, and finding out people we actually knew were getting sick. Having friends or family pass away (whether Covid related or not) with no way to say goodbye, and no way to send them off with a proper funeral- this was weighing heavy on the adults.

But for the kids, at least we had cake. And toys to pose with it.

By now were well into the world of masks. It took some getting used to for everyone. We all practiced making homemade masks. There were many social media tutorials to follow, both helpful and some more, uh, “creative”. Our craftier friends opened their own online businesses and the mask boom was upon us.

We all felt so bad for all our 12th graders, 8th graders, 5th graders, and yes, even preschoolers, who went without ceremonies or traditional celebrations for their accomplishments. Some people got creative- yard signs, car parades, and the like, but nothing was normal about 2020. In our town, a great real estate/community outreach outfit put together a balloon backdrop and provided graduation caps for graduates of all ages, and free pictures. Very sweet. It was something!!

We had a military flyover, and drove into Baltimore City to watch, masked, and socially distanced. We got there just in time to see the Blue Angels and the Thunderbirds boom over us. But as soon as it started, it was over. Those jets really, well, JET. We got in the car and went home. We were surprised to see so many people out in the street. It was like a block party that lasted a mile. It became very clear that nobody was taking this thing very seriously, and we no longer wondered how numbers were still going up. Everyone was really locked down in the suburbs, but the city was like a party!

The summer seemed to bring a little bit of normalcy, as far as the pool was concerned. The kids were so happy to be able to swim and play with some of their cousins. There were no incidents of Covid at or stemming from our time at the pool (though one lifeguard got it toward the end of the summer). We went to DC for the 4th of July, and parked along the highway to watch. We were able to go to the beach for a week- it too, was pretty empty. We played outside all we wanted. Went on day trips to state parks. Things we would normally do. We even upgraded the couch. If we were going to be stuck at home all the time, we may as well do so comfortably!

The summer was kind of fun. And yes, there was cake.

Fall brought Homeschooling, a new endeavor for our family. I talk all about the decision to do this here. It has been a rewarding experience for all, so far. It was definitely took a leap of faith, but everyone is thriving and happy. Our 3rd grade son just finished Treasure Island and wrote his first book report. Our 6 year old daughter just ran through some addition flashcards with me. “I’m learning so fast!” she said proudly. Our littlest is still enrolled in a public school Pre-K threes class and has just started hybrid. He’s doing great too. Leaps and bounds from where he was a year ago.

We had our big birthday month, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

The seasons changed, but it really has been a long, dark winter. Still and all, we had cake.

All and all, I try to think of the positive things that happened this year. I’m so happy that we were able to spend so much time together, because life is short. We shared many more moments together than we would have on any other normal year. For that, I am grateful. May these kids remember the time when all they had was each other. And cake.

Well, I couldn’t decide whether to use Flo from tv’s Alice- “Kiss my grits!” or Florence Henderson (because hello, Mrs. Brady!), so I did both. We’ll see if I have the time, energy, and/or inclination to do one with the Progressive Auto Insurance lady, also Flo.

Stay safe, everyone! Hopefully she’s kinder and gentler Florence, like Mrs. Brady.

“What’s YOUR name?” I asked my then 2 year old.

He hadn’t said much up until that point- the regular, “Mama, Dada, doggy, hi, bye bye” and the like. My sister and I were sitting with him on the lawn of a summer concert where I’d just performed and we were relaxing afterwards, watching the kids run around.

“What’s YOUR name?” I asked again. “Patrick. Patrick.” I pointed at him.

He said, “Taptrick, Tap…. Taptrih….. Happy.”

We laughed and said, “Did he just say Happy???”

From then on, until now, he has been referring to himself as “Happy”. We love this so much, and gladly call him by his self-proclaimed nickname, because ever since he was born, that is what people have said about him. “He’s just so… HAPPY.”

And he is. He’s not only the light of our lives, but for so many people. From family and friends to complete strangers out around town. Even people who’ve just seen his picture on Facebook tell me when I see them, “I can’t get enough of your precious pictures of Patrick. He just makes me happy.” When we meet people who’ve only seen him in pictures, they tell me, “I feel like I’m meeting a celebrity.” And I can see their genuine excitement. That’s our boy. Inspiring smiles, even from afar.

Happy is a good boy…. mostly. He turns 3 today, so we’ve had our moments. He’s still only learning, as any 2/3 year olds are. He tests his limits, but on the whole, he could not be sweeter or funnier kid, or a more ferocious dinosaur. His imagination is really starting to take off and it’s a joy to watch him play with his dinosaurs (big dino to little dino: ” I yuv you.” and in a higher voice, “I yuv you, too!”) to the actual becoming of a dinosaur, stomping, growling, looking around, roaring, arms in T-Rex position, with the proclamation, “IIIIII…. a DI-SORE…. REEEEXXXXXX!!!!” He loves all sorts of play- trains, puzzles, painting, loves the gym, running, jumping on the trampoline and throwing rocks in the river.  He’s been obsessed with the alphabet and numbers since he was 19 months old and could identify all his letters since then. He loves books. We read a lot. He also loves movies, namely, Rio 2, Frozen and Chicken Little. He loves watching YouTube videos of Thomas Train races and Dinosaur Eggs. He just started singing songs, which is so precious to me, especially. He loves the ABC song, and subsequently Twinkle Twinkle, but his newest favorite is Old MacDonald Had a Farm. He is just starting to be able to have some more meaningful conversations and is asking a lot of questions. “What’s that for, Mommy?” “What are you doin’ with that, Mommy?” “What do you think you’re doing, Mommy?” (This last one is hilarious- it’s what Daddy asks him a lot. “What do you think you’re doing?” as a joke, you know, when he’s just playing or watching a show.)

Most recently, Happy has become a big brother- and he’s a sweet big brother. He loves his “Babyyemmie” He sings songs to her and came up with her theme song. It’s actually more of a tribal chant that has a crazy little dance that goes with it. “BABYEMMIE, BABYEMMIE, BABYEMMIE, BABYEMMIE”. It’s so funny, and he has us all doing it!

Our little Happy. We are so happy he “came to our house”, to quote an old saying we use in our family.

Happy Birthday, Happy! We love you!

“So how is it with two kids?”

“Like Sand Through the Hourglass”… and now introducing… mind fluff!

This is probably THE most asked question I get these days. This is mostly from people who are about to be in my position, or are thinking about it. Though, not always… some people have been through it and want to know how my experience stacks up to theirs. Some don’t have kids at all and wonder how anyone manages one kid, much less two. Now that I’ve had 5 months with the two of them, it’s becoming a little more clear.

I wrote the paragraph above two hours ago. It wasn’t even a complete thought until I reworded it completely! Since then, I’ve changed two diapers and fed a toddler twice and a baby once. Squeeze in a couple of “bounce on the lap songs” for two kids- which is pretty dangerous when you’ve got the toddler naked from the waist down. We decided last night that we’d try the potty this morning. So, we have tried it twice, with no results. But I figure, I’ll just keep him naked until something happens.

Annnnd….. fast-forward to an hour and a half later. Well the big news is that Patrick, out of nowhere, says, “Diaper, Mommy, diaper!!!” I said, “No… let’s try the potty!!!” So we raced up the stairs and into the bathroom. He was so unsure of this, even though he has sat on the potty before. But I could see on his face that it was finally all coming together in his mind. He almost cried. I said, “It’s ok, just go in the potty.” And there it was…. trickle trickle, followed by a look of amazement. We both laughed and cheered. It was the best. He kept going… and going. I was hoping that he was ready to poop too, but no such luck. So I still have a little Donald Duck running around. And by that, I mean a toddler wearing a shirt and no pants, waiting for further instructions from the poop universe, or, “poopiverse”, as I have just decided to call it from now on.

If I get NOTHING else accomplished today, it will be ok.

HE WENT ON THE POTTY.

Fast forward to an hour later. He has now peed on his play mat. I’m thankful for that- at least it was on the mat, as it was an easy cleanup. No big deal. We went up to the potty, sat down, did nothing, flushed anyway, got a diaper and decided to wrap it all up with a nap. Meanwhile, baby practices tummy time on her blanket. Possibly too much tummy time. But that’s ok. She probably needed it.

So where was I? How is having 2 kids? It’s hard. I feel like I’m 80% reactionary. I can plan all I want, but those plans are usually dashed within 2 hours. So now I just sort of go with the “daily mental checklist” with no times attached. I just squeeze everything in, in between the many diapers and feedings and consolations and playtime. But I manage to get to the important things- like laundry, dishes, and even dinner sometimes. Luckily I can listen to the songs I need to learn, so at least they are just playing throughout the day and getting ear-wormed into my brain. When I get a moment I will go to the piano (which is at arms length) and run through them for extra solidification. I get plenty of internet time when I’m feeding the baby. What else am I going to do when pinned down? Oh yeah, then there is the side work I do- making virtual tours for a real estate company. They are done during said feedings and in between everything else. Thanks to dad and family, I haven’t missed a deadline, rehearsal or gig since the baby was born. And somehow I’ve managed to be prepared.

Priorities and Multitasking- I can’t stress these two enough. Things that fall through the cracks for me are keeping up with emails and calls that are not work related. I apologize to anyone waiting for me to respond to them. “It’s not you, it’s me.” to quote George Costanza.

Ok, fast-forward a couple of weeks. That’s right WEEKS. I now have a 6 month old. When I first started this, she was still 5 months, and it was a couple of weeks before Easter, a VERY busy time for anyone in a church band. We had 2 rehearsals the week before and 4 masses to play for on Easter Sunday. So of course, being me,  I also squeezed in an internet radio interview, which thankfully, we were able to do by phone! And thank goodness my cousin stopped by. She fed the baby and watched the 2 year old run around while I went outside so I could actually hear the questions that were being asked.

Just today, a friend sent me a message asking me the question, “Is it easier with the second kid during the first 6 months?” I fully understand this question. Before the baby was born, I was pretty much all-consumed with thoughts of “Will I have enough time for the baby? For the 2 year old?  For the house? For music? For work? How will I go to the store? Make dinner? Do the laundry? Will I have time for my husband? Myself?”

I suppose the final answer, looking back on the last 6 months is that some things are easier and some things are harder. The actual taking care of baby is much easier. There’s no poring over the minutia of milestone accomplishments, whether my baby is healthy, normal, on track… you know, not to the obsessive point that I did with my first.  I don’t even think about diapers, or feeding- we just do it. I don’t worry about every little thing, nor do I have a WebMd and Baby Center in their own window, just waiting for me to look something up. Doing everything for everyone is tough, but not impossible. It can be exhausting. Some days you may feel like you’ll never get it together. Can you do it all? Yes. There is time for everything, but maybe not in the timeframe you expect. The sooner you learn that, the better- for your mind, body and soul. You realize what your priorities are. And the priorities change daily. Some days you will get nothing done. Some days you won’t believe how much you accomplished. Celebrating those accomplishments and not beating yourself up for the off days are equally important. Some days a shower is top priority. Most days, it is far from it.

The hard part is that it can be physically and mentally exhausting. Try getting a baby to take a nap- one who fights it like crazy and who is also a VERY light sleeper- while keeping a toddler quiet who hasn’t quite grasped the concept of “whispering”. Impossible. Imagine every time you turn around, the things you just put away are back out- along with 10 other things. Infuriating. I’m pretty easy going, and even I have had to take a step back and realize that I can’t control… well…. ANYTHING. This is not news, exactly. None of us can, but nothing like having 2 kids to remind you on a daily basis. Ok, sometimes an hourly basis. Oh, you think you are going to make it to Story Time on time? EVER? Think again! You think you are going to have a fun playdate? Nope. Kids get sick all the time. You think you can go to the bank, Target and grocery store? Sorry, you now have a 2-Stop policy in effect. And so go the best laid plans.

Somehow it all gets done. (I write this as I think of the mountain of laundry I still have to fold after being clean for a day and a half. Oh, who am I kidding? That is happening tomorrow, with any luck!) If I were to offer any advice, it would be to welcome all help- whether from your partner, family, or friends- any little bit helps. Just yesterday my sister-in-law asked if I wanted her to go to the store with me. I didn’t think I needed “help” so much, but I said “Sure!”… and it was admittedly much easier with a couple of extra hands.

I think I just heard the baby say “Mama” in the next room. That would be a first. But she’s so happy playing by herself, I’m not even going to bother her. I’m just happy that she’s happy and nobody is crying and I’m able to have a cohesive thought and a moment “to myself”. I put that in quotes because there really are very few moments to myself, I tend to stretch the meaning of “alone”. If they are on the floor sitting next to me and it’s quiet, that’s “alone” now.

Since another day has passed since the previous paragraph, I suppose I ought to wrap this up, otherwise I could go on and on, chronicling our daily routine and adding thoughts I KNOW I’ve forgotten to say. I think this 3 week long blog entry pretty much sums up what it’s like to have two kids, 2 and a half and under. Writing this wasn’t easy and it took forever- but I got it done- in my own time!

Addendum: I’m not going to lie. It has taken me an exact WEEK to add pictures, proofread and post this.

But it’s all worth it.

THE END.

FINALLY.

Tell me how it is (or was) for you!

The fact that I am just now, on February 4th, getting to my Last Year Wrap-Up should tell you something. Way Out Mama is one busy mama. Let’s backtrack to… hmm… let’s say September.

September 2013 marked the beginning of the 2nd “Busy Season” for anyone in a wedding/corporate band. Now, let’s also remember that I was 8 months pregnant just going into it this year. I was booked solid- every Saturday and Sunday in September. I also had gigs every Saturday/Sunday in October, one was two days before my scheduled C-Section. Would I…. could I…. do this?

I was pretty confident up through September. I was leery of the first 2 weeks of October. I mean, anything COULD happen. Based on my last pregnancy/birth, I had no reason to believe this baby would want to come out of my body without help (40 hours of labor ending with a C-Section and a baby who was 10lbs 3 oz for those keeping score from the first time!). This baby was also trending big, so I was pretty sure I wouldn’t go into labor. As a “just in case” I brought my mom along on the last 2 gigs- just in case I needed someone to take me to the hospital! Both gigs were 2 hours away so I thought it was smart to have somewhat of a Plan B.

The last gig before the birth, I was having some fairly severe pain in my abdomen. It was really just the baby’s position, but WOW. I was a little worried how I would get through it. But, as per usual, once the music starts going, and I get to singing- all things physical resolve themselves. It is amazing, the things I have sung through, but this one was up there!

Thank goodness, because the following day I said, “I’m glad this is the last day, because I can’t take much more of this. I could hardly walk. I could hardly lay down, my sciatica was at level ELEVEN.

The birth couldn’t have been more night/day from the first one. I went into the hospital fairly rested and had eaten just before midnight (as opposed to 40 hours before the birth). Walked myself into the delivery room with my favorite doctor of all time and came out with a beautiful new baby, this time an hour earlier than expected! It was so much easier and relaxed than before. I even got our good family friend Kim as my nurse afterwards, which was so nice. We came home and started our lives with this new little girl- Mary Elizabeth- M.E, (pronounced “Emmie”).

The birth itself was amazing. I will never forget when they held that little kitten (she REALLY sounds like a cat- even still!) over the curtain, covered with goo, screaming her head off… wow. What a beauty!

They did get her cleaned up quickly though… and we got to see that hair… that CRAZY HAIR! Nobody in my our immediate family has had a kid with hair like this. I had a cousin or two… but this was not the bald baby I was expecting!

Her hair was really almost black at first. It’s settled into a nice brownish/reddish/blondish mix at three months, but much of it has fallen out. It’s so wild that every morning I swear I’m waking up to Nick Nolte’s mugshot. We’ll see what happens. I have a feeling the second the sun hits it, it will get all super strawberry blonde. Can’t wait for summer!

Patrick has been doing great with his sister. He’s not so happy with me all the time, but loves the baby. 🙂 It’s ok. We’ve pretty much worked through it. But he welcomed his sister with open arms. Always so concerned about her well-being. “Don’t worry, Baby M.E. It’s ok. It’s ok.” What a great brother. I’m so glad they have each other.

The second C-Section was so much easier to get over. I think for a combination of reasons. For one, having had one before, a lot of the nerve endings in the abdomen are dead. Good. Who needs ’em? Secondly, there was no 40 hours of trauma beforehand. Thirdly, I did not have the breastfeeding complication I had last time (an abscess which took an entire month to heal- something from which I still bear a scar). I’m happy to say we’ve been exclusively breastfeeding for going on 4 months, and this baby is growing and growing! Amazing what our bodies can do, ladies. To grow a baby and then keep growing them once they come out. They say that even though it didn’t work the first time, it really paved the way for things to work out smoothly this time. For that, I am thankful.

The next gig was a week and a half away, and thank goodness we had someone to cover for me. Though the day of, I started off feeling so good, I would have been tempted to do it. But then a terrible headache took over for the next several days. I was dehydrated, as it turned out. Not eating/drinking nearly enough. But it’s the last thing you are thinking about in between feedings, diapers, a 2 year old running around and oh yeah, no sleep. I got back on track quickly, and it was a good thing because I had so many gigs to do between the band and the church, I was booked a few times a week for much of November- starting Nov. 1! I’d just had major surgery on Oct. 13, and here it was Nov. 1, and I was playing a wedding with really no trouble at all. The baby came along with my mom and I’d feed her on breaks. We did a good job of keeping it under wraps, too. I know my bandmates thought I was nuts, but oh well. One of my biggest fears is to let anything stop me from playing music- even kids. Thankfully, everyone has been very understanding- husband, family, bandmates one and all!

In the midst of all this, I managed to make my “Oh Little Town of Laurel” video/song, get airplay on Laurel Cable Access, and get written up in the local paper.

The band ended up getting a few last minute corporate events, which was great and perfect timing at Christmas. I even got a free Christmas tree with lights at one of them! Thank God for small gifts!

Christmas Eve I was able to sing for nearly 10,000 people (divided between 2 masses) at the Cow Palace in Timonium at the Fair Grounds for Church of the Nativity. What an incredible experience and such a blessing to play with such amazing musicians. This year featured a string section that was so good, I could easily get lost listening to them. 🙂

Christmas was great- M.E.’s first Christmas, Patrick’s first that he actually “got”. It was really a wonderful day. Patrick is a great big brother- loves his Baby M.E..

To wrap up the year, I finished two more songs for The Rhythm Surf Monkeys… with baby in tow. I’ve been doing a lot with her in tow! Rehearsals, sound checks, gigs… talk about “no child left behind”. She seems to really love the music. At rehearsal, she only stirs when we are talking in between songs. But, really, she spent all her life up until birth surrounded by music, I guess it makes sense. What a great way to start off.

Well, that’s “all” for now. I know it’s a long one. Back to the drawing board with the blog. Can’t believe it’s 2015. FEBRUARY 2015. This year is already flying.