I remember when my grandmother turned 80, my cousin Terrie, a college student, was living with her. I used to hang out with them many weekends. Terrie said to her, “Grandma, I can’t believe you are EIGHTY. I mean, EIGHTY!! What does it feel like to have lived so long?” I will never forget what she said, as it really stuck with me in regards to the way people view their lives.
She said, “I am the same person I was at 5, 20, 35, 50, 70… I’ve just always been me, I don’t feel any different.”
It was an eye-opener. At then 16, I thought, “Wow- you know, she’s right.” We are who we are, we just know more and have more experiences. But we are always that same person we were from the start. An interesting thing to think about with a little wiggle-worm in my stomach.
I feel like little Patrick is really starting to feel pretty confident in his own little universe. He’s able to do whatever he wants, live life on his own little terms. The feeling I get from him is that he is in there just having his own little adventure, already learning and practicing for the next step- even though he doesn’t know what that next step is, or that it is necessarily coming! It’s a lot how we live our lives and transition to death. We always think of death as the worst possible scenario- but really- it’s just the next step. In Patrick’s case, soon he will go from being a free-floating being to a helpless slave to gravity. He will have to figure it out as he goes along, as will his mom and dad. We will all be in it together.
Upon thinking about all of this, I wondered if there was a song that might encapsulate it all. So I googled, “in my own universe song”. I came across this crazy song by Daniel Johnston. Turns out the guy is manic depressive and schizophrenic, which could have been guessed just by listening to the song. I chose a cover of this song to share, because it was slightly less disturbing than the original. : ) The people who covered it took it a step further also, adding higher and higher ages, which brings me back to my grandmother. No matter where we are in our lives, we always have this feeling that we will live forever. The funny thing is, I think we are right to feel this invincibility- of course we will all “die” someday, but that doesn’t mean our souls don’t go on- forever.